PLASTIC WRAP, A DECEASED GOAT AND OTHER THINGS

I have a drink problem. I don’t drink alcohol. I hate the smell of spirits, don’t like red wine, (the way it crinkles your mouth), or the sweetness of white, and beer makes me shudder. OK, I must admit to enjoying a lager and lime on a real hot day. The last drinks I had were half a glass of demi-sec about 3 weeks ago and a glass of beer last October. Not a problem for me but seems to be a problem for some people.
The amusing thing is, some assume I am a recovered alcoholic. You can tell from their sideways glances at drinking partners and the way they control their drinking. I don’t feel the need to explain why I don’t like drink and avoid going to the pub if possible. Yeah I’ve been drunk twice in my life and those two incidents were when I was young and foolish, (OK – I’m old and foolish now). I do not understand how anyone can enjoy throwing up and the headaches that go with it. And drink driving is a major offence where I’m concerned – seen too many victims of it working in healthcare. People do enjoy drinking, and I’m not an abolitionist, that’s for sure. It’s a personal choice, and my choice is not to drink.
Had I been a drinker it might have explained my raised ALT, which is a liver enzyme. Anyway, after worrying all week about that, turns out the doctor isn’t, even if it is still high. Might be caused by the drugs I take for the arthritis – who knows?

My regular readers will be sorry to hear that the new bride of a certain Mr. Tombe died after eating a plastic bag. For those of you who did not read this story, you’ll be wondering what a newly married bride was doing eating a plastic bag. Well, this was no ordinary bride – she was a goat and was “married” to Mr. Tombe by a group of village elders in the Sudan after her owner found him trying to “have knowledge of her” in the true Biblical sense. She leaves behind a kid type of kid and obviously met joy with her own kind before the end. No comment from Mr. Tombe, but I bet her early death really got his goat. I guess with the death of his wife Mr. Tombe will need a nanny for the kid. Get it? Nanny? Oh well, you can’t accuse me of not trying.

I’ve always hated plastic food wrap – it’s the work of the devil if you ask me. What with trying to stretch it AND make it cling when you use it to cover food, then struggling to remove it from pre-packaged food. The man who invented it should never have been born.
But enterprising owners of a chain of massage parlours in Orange County California found a new use for it. They saved money by encouraging their clients to use it in place of the free condoms previously supplied by the parlours. Wouldn’t shrink wrap have been better? Although I guess the heat required for the exercise might have caused some distress to the customers. A sort of boil-in-the-bag weiner.

Finally, has this Afghani woman been put out with the trash? Or maybe her husband’s hoping to get her shipped as baggage along with his other luggage, (yes, this is the sort of luggage many bring in or ship out of Saudi Arabia believe me).

Have a good weekend

See ya